in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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