How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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