quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
false alarm, still single
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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