I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
