His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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