so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
