I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
