Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
