She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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