I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
