is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
