Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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