I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
