You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
birth control should be required to get into college
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
