just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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