Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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