im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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