He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I am one with the molecules
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
