if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
