Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
