This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
