How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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