i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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