remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
