OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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