Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
