What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
