The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
