I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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