I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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