im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
