my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
COCAINE IS GR8
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
