what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
