there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
