Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
