this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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