he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm passing your future prison.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
