i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
