I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
