I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
