Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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