he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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