I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
