we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
