I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
