you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
