if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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