I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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