Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
