and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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