Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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