dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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